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torestoreorder: ((312) I remember going home with 2 girls) (Default)
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Keywords:
  • (312) I remember going home with 2 girls
Comment: Woke up with 4.
torestoreorder: ((440) Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and)
Keywords:
  • (440) Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and
Comment: wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
torestoreorder: ((269) This bird just went for my eyes.)
Keywords:
  • (269) This bird just went for my eyes.
Comment: Does he think I'm dead???
torestoreorder: ((705) I guess I made wings cause theres)
Keywords:
  • (705) I guess I made wings cause theres
Comment: chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
torestoreorder: ((212)I only drink at bars with bathrooms)
Keywords:
  • (212)I only drink at bars with bathrooms
Comment: big enough to have sex in.
torestoreorder: ((630) Are you in a good mood because I)
Keywords:
  • (630) Are you in a good mood because I
Comment: stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
torestoreorder: ((519) Just watched a middle age woman)
Keywords:
  • (519) Just watched a middle age woman
Comment: scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
torestoreorder: ((757) the quiet that you are hearing is)
Keywords:
  • (757) the quiet that you are hearing is
Comment: silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
torestoreorder: ((614)We're making a scrapbook of dick)
Keywords:
  • (614)We're making a scrapbook of dick
Comment: pics, you want in or what?
torestoreorder: ((631) Oh like it's the first time I've)
Keywords:
  • (631) Oh like it's the first time I've
Comment: had a bowl of wine
torestoreorder: ((530)So how do you explain to your boss)
Keywords:
  • (530)So how do you explain to your boss
Comment: that Siri called him mid sex?
torestoreorder: ((586) In order to save time dignity and)
Keywords:
  • (586) In order to save time dignity and
Comment: liver damage, wanna get naked?
torestoreorder: ((510)Im never going out with the ashleys)
Keywords:
  • (510)Im never going out with the ashleys
Comment: again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
torestoreorder: ((604) I can't believe you won 5 grand)
Keywords:
  • (604) I can't believe you won 5 grand
Comment: from the casino last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
torestoreorder: ((847)You texted me "butt stuff" 53 times)
Keywords:
  • (847)You texted me "butt stuff" 53 times
Comment: in a four hour period last night.